IT’S TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY!!
Now, don’t roll your eyes too hard. We don’t need any injuries on this, the most joyous of all days. Also, if your significant other, male or female, is into football, they’re probably not going to drive you to the hospital until after 11pm.
If you’re like me, you may be all too aware that the football season is back with vengeance, bringing us the blood pressure raising good time that is the football transfer window.
So, what is transfer deadline day? Why should you give a shit? Why are our husbands suddenly buying yellow ties? And, importantly, how do we (or they) survive it?
What the hell is going on?
Transfer deadline day is the cut off point for the sale, transfer, drama of football players to switch teams/alliances/move up or down in the world.
The cut off is tonight (Thursday 31st August 2017) at 11pm. Thankfully there is a helpful countdown clock in the corner of Sky Sports News. This could be counting down to upcoming months of frustration or elation from your significant other.
This summer transfer window finishes around two weeks into the 2017/2018 season.
Input from Mr Walsh at this point has included ‘players can put in for a transfer request but as football fans we think they should all be loyal to us.’ This was closely followed by a rant that contained phrases such as ‘snakey’ and ‘it’s the grief talking’.
Should we care?
Should we care about this clock counting down to potentially devastation or glory for the next nine months? Well… we shouldn’t really, but Mr Walsh broke down why we do. Especially if there is someone in your life who has their weekend mood ruled by the outcome of 11 guys and their pig bladder.
‘It’s high stakes.
‘You know that whatever your squad is the minute that deadline shuts is your squad for another four-five months. It’s the single day of the year that could make or break your teams season. Whether you could go up, go down, challenge for a good cup run – it’s all today.’
So this could be make or break. We’re willing to give them one drama filled evening… right?
But why yellow ties?
What would an annual event be without a few traditions.
Apparently this all started with the Sky Sports News bright yellow breaking news ticker. It seems that many have since adopted yellow as the official colour of deadline day.
This includes a name which we may be hearing a lot of this evening – MR JIM WHITE.
‘Mr Deadline Day’ himself will be with guiding the nation through the last few hours before the deadline window closes. His excitement and enthusiasm to the very end, including the fallout, should apparently keep everyone somewhat sane and on track… because someone has to try to take the helm of this ship.
So traditions like the yellow tie (and many personal WhatsApp conversation traditions) will continue until the clock turns over into September.
Just go with it.
The Walsh survival guide
There is option one – go to bed. This is my personal favourite.
If your bedroom is over the living room like ours it may be wiser to find a good podcast (my recommendations are always My Dad Wrote a Porno and The Scott Mills Daily) because there may be some shouting, crying or conversations with themselves.
Alternatively, you could go with it and get involved. As they sit on the edge of their seats and slump back in defeat, there are many interesting ways to pass the time:
Correct pronunciation of players names (and the look on presenters faces as they fear it’s about to come out wrong) are always entertaining.
There are many reporters standing outside almost every ground in the country ready for us to judge the state of the ground/area. Judging football stadium names is a personal favourite.
Doing a shot every time there is mention of passing a fitness test.
Calculate what you could buy with the fees that now contain so many zeros that they don’t mean anything. Only 10 million? Nah, we’re not interested in your little fry.
And if you’re really thinking about throwing caution to the wind – ask them how it’s going. Just try not to laugh as they rant.
In writing this I’ve already been shown a video of a man getting tickled in the face by a dildo and other deadline day cock ups which make men giggle when they’re slightly delirious with adrenaline.
Whatever happens, it will all be over by 11pm. Whether or not it’s good news or bad, or if the fallout will be a sore spot for weeks, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel… we get to do it all again in January.
See you then… 😉 😉